found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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