You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
