So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
