Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
