You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
