If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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