He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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