Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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