gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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