He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
