ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
