If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
