dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
