grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
