It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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