I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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