so explain again why im purple
no
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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