I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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