I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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