i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
