im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
