New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
