I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
