Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Operation Purity has been aborted
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
