the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
