Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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