Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
