I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this boner is exhausting
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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