Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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