We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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