what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can I color on your dick again?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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