how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
