So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
