she was so not down for the gang bang
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
