North Korea, Best Korea!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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