We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
