he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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