Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
