I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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