On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
