i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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