Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize