Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
