Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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