I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
PANTIES FOUND
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
