id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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