Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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