he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
