oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
