i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
