I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
