I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize