OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
