The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it because I queefed?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
