omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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