You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
