did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
