New low: just hacked my moms facebook
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
