ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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