You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
