There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
