we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
